Regrets
by callmebethanyyy
Summary: Small one-shot set after 1018. Ty is struggling with things after the baby is born. Can Amy help him figure stuff out?


The loft was nice and quiet, the new addition to the Fleming-Borden family had been sleeping relatively well. Amy had got up with her an hour ago to feed her, and she fell straight back asleep. Ty, on the other hand, was lying and looking at the ceiling. After attempting to get back to sleep for an hour, he checked his phone and saw that it was 2:34am. He sighed and slowly pushed the covers back and quietly got out of bed, he may as well catch up on some paper work while he was awake. He walked past the cot at the end of the bed, and looked at his daughter, sleeping peacefully. He smiled, seeing her little face just made his world feel complete, but he still couldn't help but feel pain when thinking of the past few months. He sighed and walked to the stairs and quietly walked down – making sure not to wake Amy, or the baby. He got into the office and flicked the light on, as he let his eyes adjust to the change in brightness. He walked over to his desk and sat down and opened his laptop. He had 6 patient files to put on the system from the past few weeks, and needed to make a schedule for the horses at Heartland as it was time for their vet checks. Since having the baby, Ty had been working from home a lot, and only being in the clinic when necessary. He had still been on call a lot but thankfully there hadn't been many callouts. He was finally getting back to where he was before Mongolia and enjoyed being back at home, especially being with Amy again. He sat and looked at the desktop photo on his laptop and saw an incredible view. It was a day that he and Bob had off while in Mongolia, so they decided to climb a sand dune and watch the sunrise. It was one of the most incredible moments of the entire trip, and Ty just felt that he was one of the luckiest people in the world by doing what he did. He sighed and sat back in his chair, looking at his screen. He was so glad he had the opportunity to go to Mongolia, but he wished it had come at a better time – when Amy was not pregnant. He missed out on so much, and all he could do to be there for her was sit at one end of the phone or computer and talk. He shook his head, trying to get the negativity out of his mind and grabbed one of the files. He began to read through and typed the information onto their system.

* * *

Amy began to stir and rolled over so she could snuggle up to Ty, when she realised he wasn't there she opened her eyes and looked over to the bathroom. Realising he wasn't in the bathroom, she quietly stood up and walked over to the baby's cot and saw that she was still sleeping peacefully. She grabbed the sound monitor from the dining table and switched it on as she walked down the stairs. As she got down to the bottom, she stood in the doorway, and saw Ty working on some files.

"Hey, what are you doing up?" She asked as she walked in quietly.

"I just couldn't sleep, so I thought I would get some work done," He replied, sitting back and motioning for her to come over.

Amy walked over and sat down on his knee, "How come you couldn't sleep?"

"I don't know, not tired, I guess?" Ty replied.

Amy looked at him, "Hmm, I don't quite believe you. This is the fifth night in a row you've come down to do work in the night… what's on your mind?" She asked.

"Nothing, I've just got a lot of work to catch up on," He replied, half-heartedly, "I have these files to load on the system, and I have to schedule the vet checks for all the Heartland horses."

"Hmm… I know you have a lot of work, but, once again I don't believe you. Spill Dr Borden, what's up?" She asked, brushing his hair off his face.

"Nothing," He laughed, "How is our little nugget doing? She was sleeping peacefully when I came down."

Amy smiled, "She's doing great. She was snoring away, if we turn the sound up on the monitor a little more, we might be able to hear her," She replied, turning up the monitor.

The pair of them both sat and listened to their little girl half breathe half snore through the monitor, "Wow, she definitely takes after her dad with all that snoring!" Amy laughed, kissing him on the cheek.

"Yeah, maybe so… but she is as stubborn as her mother!" Ty smirked, kissing her softly on the lips.

"Okay, so you know how stubborn I can be… then you know, I'm not going to stop pestering you until you tell me what is wrong," She said, looking him in the eyes.

Ty smiled, "You know I love you, right?"

"Well… you did marry me and have a baby with me so… I guess you do love me?" Amy teased, "Okay, no, seriously. Tell me what's on your mind. Didn't we always say we would speak to each other about things?"

"Well, yeah… we did," Ty replied.

"I think this is a time where we need to take our own advice. Now please, Ty, tell me what is on your mind," She asked.

"Well, I'm not exactly sure… I just feel a little… out of place? I am really having regrets about going to Mongolia," He replied.

"What, why?" She asked, "I was okay with you going. I wanted you to go, and I didn't want to hold you back. You let me do my own thing, it was time I let you. I honestly don't see why this is still on your mind?"

"It's just… I missed so much, all those months that you were pregnant… I missed all your birthing classes, all the little milestones… I don't know, I just feel that I failed you as a husband, and little nugget as a father," He explained, "Don't get me wrong, I'm happy I got to do it and I am happy that I helped make a difference over there… I just wish I had been here more, not stayed over there as long. I should have come home when you said you missed me, I shouldn't have listened to you telling me otherwise."

"Oh Ty, don't feel like that. Honestly, I am glad you got to go, too. Yeah, it would have been nice, well, amazing, having you around," She replied, " _But_ , I am glad you went before the baby was born… If all this had come around, like now, I'd have never wanted you to go. Then we would probably not manage to get through it, I would have held a grudge if you had left me with the baby, and you'd have held a grudge if you hadn't gone. It may not have manifested straight away, but further along the lines, I sense that there would be strain on our relationship. Look at Casey, after all this time, she has finally got back into barrel racing – dad knew not to hold her back and those two have been so happy since they got back together. Would it have been nice to have you round? Of course. Do I regret letting you go away? No. I really don't."

"I know, I know… Sometimes, I just feel like I let you both down," He sighed, "I know I'm probably being stupid but, it's hard."

"You're not being stupid," Amy replied, kissing him softly on the forehead, "Ty I love you so much, and the way you and our little nugget have been bonding over these past couple of months has been amazing. It is clear to me, and people around us, that she is 100% a Daddy's little girl. She absolutely adores you. When I'm holding her and she hears your voice, she looks around to see you."

Ty smiled, "Really?"

Amy nodded, "Yeah, really. You are an amazing father, and I don't want you to forget that."

"Thank you, Amy. I am sorry for waking you up, I just couldn't face lying there awake any longer," He said.

"You didn't wake me up, I rolled over and realised you weren't there, I knew you were either in the bathroom or down here. Of course, you happened to be down here and it was for the fifth night in a row. To take your mind off it, I think we should spend some time together tomorrow, with the baby. Have the perfect idea."

"Hmm, go on?" He replied.

"Well, seeing as you are off tomorrow and are only needed on call tomorrow night, how about the three of us go for a picnic. We could drive over to the ridge and then go for a walk. What do you think?" She asked.

Ty grinned, "That sounds awesome. Quality family time. Just the three of us. I think this scheduling can wait another day. I can do it in the morning. What do you say to us going back to bed before the little monster wakes up again?" He suggested.

"That is a good idea," Amy replied, "I really do love you."

"I love you too," Ty said, giving her a kiss.

* * *

They slowly and quietly walked back up the stairs to the loft and crept over to bed. Ty opened his arms up for Amy to lie in, and they both snuggled up. Just as they were drifting off, cries were heard from the little cot at the end of the bed.

Amy groaned, "Go on, Dad. It's your turn."

Ty laughed and kissed the top of her head, "Okay."

He pushed the covers back and walked over to the cot and picked her up, as soon as he picked her up, she stopped crying as loud, "Hey Princess, let's get you some milk, shall we?" He whispered, trying to get her to calm down more. Amy watched as Ty walked over to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of milk and put it in the warmer, he was such a natural with her.

Once the milk was ready, he walked over to the rocking chair and began to feed her. She drank up all the milk as he rocked back and forth. Once she had finished, he winded her and slowly put her back in the cot. She whinged for a few seconds but soon fell straight back to sleep. Ty yawned and got back into bed, Amy rolled over and snuggled up into him, "Hmm I don't know what you were worried about, you're such a natural," She whispered.

Ty kissed the top of her head, "Yeah, I kind of am," He replied, smugly, "Good night, Amy."

"Mhmm, night…" Amy murmured as she drifted off into a nice peaceful sleep.

The end.


End file.
